Each of us has to make decisions, more or less important. How not to be afraid of the consequences?
Fear is a natural reaction, and it is inherited from generation to generation. Fear alerts us to the presence of danger or the threat of harm, whether that danger is physical or psychological. Feeling fear is not a bad thing. Thanks to it, we can achieve more in crisis situations and survive. Today's times, however, are significantly different from the old ones and therefore we should focus on gaining more control over our fear.
If you are afraid to talk to a stranger, experience new things, ask the shop staff if they have your coat size, or even call the restaurant to order a pizza and someone else usually does it for you, then fear hinders your functioning.
I was inspired to write this post by an ad that appeared to me while browsing internet content. It was just about "how not to be afraid to make decisions." Well, I will not say who is the author of the ad, but he is not the only one for whom the magic way to help you stop being afraid is to just say "Don't be afraid because you are not a child, to be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of, so don't be afraid."
I think that such words do not affect you, just like me. We are not artificial intelligence, which you can enter the code "Don't be afraid" and in an instant, it will change your personality. Creating your feelings is a long process - no matter if we want to be less nervous, stressed, or more joyful - it is a process that requires training and dedication because over the years we have become who we are now. Sometimes our personality changes drastically as a result of the trauma, but this is a topic that we can deal with at another time. But I wouldn't be myself if I didn't tell you a simple way to start improving your fear control.
For example, if you want to call for a pizza but are ashamed to call strangers on the phone and I will tell you the same what the author of the advertisement told me - don't be afraid - what are you thinking about now? About fear. It's logical. If I tell you, don't think about elephants, you will think about elephants. If I tell you don't think about oranges, you will think about oranges. The words "don't think about it", have the opposite effect than we would like it to have. So what is the first step you can take to call for this pizza? (Let us stick to this example.)
You don't want to call because you're afraid to make a fool of yourself. What can you do? Turn it into a joke. When joking, we often make fools of ourselves so both sides can laugh, and there's nothing wrong with that. Change your accent, try to speak comically, using words that you would not use in normal conversation. If your goal is to make a joke - to order a pizza in a funny way and not just order a pizza. Automatically your mind will perceive it differently.
Let me give you another example.
Visit me, we'll play some dance games.
Visit me, we will judge if you can dance.
What are your feelings? When you read the first sentence, you think "Great, we'll have a nice time. I'm in." When you read the second sentence, you think, "I don't know. I can't dance. That's not for me." Both of these sentences are about doing the same thing, only the way we perceive it changes.
Let me tell you a few more sentences about a certain movie. Well, a few years ago I was very afraid of everything. Every little thing I had to do made me scared. One day I watched the movie After Earth. In one of the scenes, Will Smith says that fear is not real, it is a matter of choice. We are afraid of things that may never happen.
Although it is usually very rare, since then, my approach to life has changed significantly and the very feeling of fear has decreased. I still feel stressed, for example, because I am not 100% sure if you will like what I am doing. I still have fear, especially of spiders, yuck! But the comfort of my life and my health have improved significantly. If there's a chance that this movie will help you as well, I think it's worth watching if you haven't done it yet.
Write in the comment below what you fear and together we will look for a solution that will improve your life and maybe many other people.